Castle Walls
by AlwaysOneStepBehind
Summary: A new case finds Alexis kidnapped and puts Beckett on the radar of an old enemy who is out for revenge, resulting in Castle making the hardest choice he's ever had to make. Rated T for minor language and violence, rating may change as the story progresses. Caskett throughout the story.
1. Prologue

**Well, it has definitely been a while since I've posted any story. But now that I'm nearing the end of my exams, and I'm about to head off for my holiday I figured I wanted to get back into what I love doing.**

**The timeline is explained in the author's note at the bottom, so just go with it for now=) There is very mild swearing in this but nothing too vulgar. I don't want to spoil it too much, but I guess you'll read it below, the torture scenes could become quite graphic for some and I will be as descriptive as a T rating will give me, though it may have to change to an M just in case….sorry about that.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing… **

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Richard Castle was a firm believer in knowing what his characters should be feeling, rather than thinking that you know. Because, according to Castle; thinking you know is not actually knowing.

While researching for previous books, making contacts or getting information out of people was easy. All he did was turn on his charm and whomever the unlucky lady – and the occasional man – was would melt and become putty in Castles hands.

So it came as a surprise for Castle when one particular Detective, could see right through the bullshit. Said Detective was one of the few – few meaning a low single digit number that doesn't include his mother or daughter – that commanded in a way no man, let alone a woman – again excluding Martha and Alexis – could command him.

At first, it was just a big game for him. He was – and still is – extremely attracted to her, so he relentlessly and shamelessly flirted with her on a regular basis, but she always fought back which was, again surprising for Castle. More surprising is how much he actually enjoyed their witty banter, it reassured him that this woman was unlike many that he's ever dated; as for one it's proving that she has a brain. She was in fact his muse, and though he stopped telling her that after many physical and bodily threats, he still recognizes her to be exactly that: an inspiration.

He didn't know it was happening while it was happening, but thinking back now he can see how much she has changed him. She hasn't in any way tried to change him, but that's the remarkable thing about Katherine Beckett; she doesn't realize the effect she can have on him.

She inspired him to strive toward something that didn't involve hefty checks, hot girls and all night wild parties. He wanted to change for her because he saw the way she scrutinized him, and it was none too highly, he wanted to be able to prove to her that he is more than what she sees. He never really understood why he wanted her, of all people, to think more highly of him, but he did and because of her regard for him, he realized that all of those things he was doing, all of the people he was seeing and all of the money he was making, was all an act.

He put on a façade in front of everyone, for everyone, because that's what people assumed he was like. He went with it; he didn't see a reason not to as it was selling his books; he was having fun with the parties and the amount of women that hung off his arms.

Cue Beckett and she pulled him right down from whatever high rising pedestal he had deemed his own to earth. He didn't know when he started to become so cocky and selfish but Beckett sure knew how to get it out of him.

After a couple of years of shadowing her, he was bestowed with the honour of being called her partner, saving her life and vice versa multiple times each, being allowed into the world of her mother and the reason why she is who she is.

Like those concrete slabs that are built around her heart to keep people out and at a safe distance, that's one fortress he's trying so hard to knock over, or at least create a little peep-hole to see inside. He is a very patient man though, personally one of his more favourable traits, and every day he notices that wall around her heart is slowly been taken down brick by brick. Though he always had to be careful as one brick would come down another five would go back up if he screwed up.

Some would wonder why he tries and he'll admit to wondering exactly that too. He's getting nothing out of it other than heartbreak and rejection so why bother? Maybe it was because of the way she was determined to catch a murderer no matter how much danger she puts herself in. Or maybe it was because there was a broken woman behind that mask of confidence that pulled at his heartstrings. Either way he found that he could not keep her away from her, both mentally and physically. He often found the need to be close to her, and often found his mind wondering to what she could be doing right now, or if she's thinking of him.

It took him a little while but he realized how much he truly cared for this woman. He didn't know if it was love but it damn near felt like it, and he could tell that she wanted it too, especially after that glorious under-cover kiss they shared.

Castle let a blissful sigh slowly pass his lips; he didn't want more pain shooting through the left side of his ribs. That kiss is what really sealed the deal for him. He was in this and whether or not she was aware of her feelings for him, he knew her feelings, call it arrogance, or call it instinct, but Castle knew that one day they would end up together.

One day, when her mother's case will be behind her and the people that caused all of her heartbreak will finally be put down or put behind bars, Beckett will finally have the closure she longs to have, that Castle desperately wants her to have.

One day, Castle will be able to wake up next to her as the sun glances off her naked shoulder while she sleeps peacefully next to him. He'll wrap his arm around her stomach, and she'll grab his hand holding him there, and they'll lie like that, feeling content every day for the rest of their lives.

A blinding pain tears Castle out of his daydream and back to reality. The knife that's being slowly drawn across his back is cutting through the skin at a slow pace. His head is thrown back as he lets lose another scream. His throat is so raw from the screaming that he doesn't understand how he hasn't lost his voice yet.

The knife left his back with a painful dig and flick, making his head droop and his breathing heavy. All he had to do was tell them what they wanted to know, to make the pain stop, that's all he had to do. Then he'd get a flash of her beautiful face and a new resolve pulsated through his body.

"_I was so close"_ He thought about that wall and how he was nearly looking over the top. He couldn't help that small feeling of anguish bubble up at the pit of his stomach, he was so close and it hurt him thinking that's all he would ever be, because unless Beckett and her team can find him within the next five minutes, then it's over.

"_Kate"_ he thought. She is the reason he's still alive and fighting. He knows that the amount of blood that is on the ground, soaked into his clothing and a few splatters on his captors should have resulted in him passing out.

But if he does then she dies.

He felt like an injured animal being cornered by poachers. Normally the fear of being killed would have triggered Castle's natural survival instinct but he, for once, is restraining himself. For the life of someone else, whom he cares deeply for, he will not act on this instinct.

He would rather die than she.

Castle's eyes rose from the dark barrel which held his life to meet another pair of dark eyes which were void of any human emotion.

The captor pulled back on the slide with a force full pull and a click – it reminded Castle of the trademark movie sound effects of a gun being ready to fire, though Castle didn't find it too humorous or cool considering his situation.

His captor placed it none too gently on Castle's forehead. "Last chance. Where is she?"

By now Castle actually welcomed death. Though he wrote about it as a job and made money from it, he never was very fond of the idea of himself being the victim. But now, it was a better compromise to being tortured all day and night. To have the pain, the fear, all taken away is exactly what Castle wants and if dying was his only escape then he will embrace death with open arms. Because, he hopes, that that means they won't find her.

Castle's hate filled glare was trained on his captor – soon to be killer – Without letting his voice or glare waver; he rasped his final words through gritted teeth. "You will never get her as long as I'm alive." He snarled.

His captor smirked. "I guess that means you die."

With a loud pop, everything in Castles vision went black…

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**So this is the start of the story…obviously. I wrote this quite a while ago, I'm pretty sure before the end of the season 3, and I live in New Zealand so that means just before season 4 started back on US television. It's been sitting on my computer for a while gathering virtual dust bunnies, but as I said above I want to get back into my writing so here I am.**

**Anyways I hope you like where this starts, I don't know if I will carry on with this, as it is a bit late in the timeline according to the series. But I guess we will see.**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Melissa**


	2. Of Mystery In Murder

**So here's the second chapter, I decided to write this story because I have a really bad habit of stopping a story half-way through to write another story, so I will continue this one until it's finished.**

**Nothing much to really add…Just apart from the fact that I actually had to do some research for a little bit of this story since I don't live in New York, let alone America.**

**Disclaimer: Nothing has changed since the last one…**

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_His captor placed it none too gently on Castle's forehead. "Last chance. Where is she?"_

_By now Castle actually welcomed death. Though he wrote about it as a job and made money from it, he never was very fond of the idea of himself being the victim. But now, it was a better compromise to being tortured all day and night. To have the pain, the fear, all taken away is exactly what Castle wants and if dying was his only escape then he will embrace death with open arms. Because, he hopes, that that means they won't find her._

_Castle's hate filled glare was trained on his captor – soon to be killer – Without letting his voice or glare waver; he rasped his final words through gritted teeth. "You will never get her as long as I'm alive." He snarled._

_His captor smirked. "I guess that means you die."_

_With a loud pop, everything in Castles vision went black…_

0~0~0~0~0~0~ One Week Earlier ~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0

"Dad!" Castle heard his daughter call to him but he didn't want to be roused from sleep just yet. Instead, he groaned and repositioned himself on his arms.

He felt a soft hand rest on his shoulder and an even softer voice speak to him. "Dad, wake up." The unmistakeable smell of caffeine suddenly filled his nostrils. Cracking open one eye curiously, he peered at the coffee cup sitting on his desk next to his head.

He didn't want to get up just yet so he was content to just rest his head as his eyes stared longingly at the hot coffee an arms stretch away. He watched as the steam vapours rose out of the mug and danced around each other before evaporating into the air around him.

Suddenly feeling the cramp in his shoulders and back, Castle sat up slowly wincing as his muscles stretched out the tight knots. He looked around at his familiar surroundings, he remembered the all-nighter he pulled trying to write a chapter in his Nikki Heat novel but he doesn't remember falling asleep. This was the third time this week and it's only Thursday. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, wincing slightly as he hit an unpleasant nerve in his neck. He rolled his neck and shoulder around trying to get rid of the pulling when Alexis walked back in.

She took one look at him and shook her head slightly. All he could do was smile sheepishly back at her through half open eyelids. "Serves you right for sleeping at your desk again."

"You'd think my back would be use to it by now." His voice was heavy with sleep.

"Well, you're finally up."

"Barely."

"You said you would walk me to school this morning dad so you need to be ready in ten minutes or else I'm going to be late."

Castle rubbed his sleep crusted eye and spoke in a hoarse voice. "But you could've had the day off if you had of just let me sleep." He opened his mouth to let loose a yawn which brought tears to his eyes.

Alexis looked shocked at her father. "But that would tarnish my perfect attendance record. Not to mention how much I would fall behind in my studies, plus I've also got my debating team meeting at lunch and fencing after school." She easily listed off her day with a shrug.

Castle stared dumbly at his daughter and wondered how in the world he was so lucky to have the most perfect daughter. He also wondered if she really was his. For him at her age, he would have jumped at the chance to play hooky, but not his girl. Though he is starting to question the baby delivering stalk's skills.

"How can you fit all that into one school day?" He asked past another big yawn.

Alexis shrugged again and responded. "The same way you can stay up all night writing your book."

Castle smiled a lop-sided smile at her as he felt a little reassured that even she is claiming, in a roundabout way and unbeknown to anyone but Castle, that she admits to having some of the Castle bloodline in her.

"Come on dad, you now have five minutes." She said as she grabbed his arm and started to pull him up.

Castle let loose another huge yawn and rubbed more sleep out of his eye. "What about breakfast? It is the most important meal of the day."

Alexis started to push her dad out the study doors. "Now it's four minutes."

Castle looked back at the piping hot mug of coffee left on his desk. "Wait! What about my coffee!?"

Alexis sighed and pushed him through his bedroom door with a final heave ho. He turned around to face his daughter and found that she had a very serious look on her face and her hands were on her hips. "Make that three minutes."

Castle held his hands up in a platonic manner and turned away from his daughter. He headed into his ensuit and ran the tap water at the sink. He caught the ice cold water in his hands and threw it on his face feeling a jolt of awareness as the water woke him up instantly, like coffee though not as pleasant. He stared at his tired face in the mirror as last night played in his mind. Yet again he was having trouble writing his Nikki Heat novel.

Although he has been shadowing Beckett for three years now and he has all the information – and more – to help him with his books he still can't find the words that appeal to him. His delete key is probably the most used key on his laptop four weeks running. He was glad when Alexis talked him out of getting a type writer; trying to write a chapter in a book was hard enough without outraged green peace protestors outside his apartment building telling him about the amount of trees he's killing while trying to write his books.

He shook his head as he heard Alexis calling him from the kitchen. He quickly used the remaining water on his hands and rubbed them dry on the back of his neck.

He jogged through his bedroom and out the door where Alexis was waiting for him. He locked the door behind him and started to walk with Alexis to the elevator. "You know that coffee will be so lonely on my desk without someone to drink it." He said as he reached forward and pushed the button to wait for the elevator – which was conveniently at the level below them – "Do you know whose fault that is?" He asked letting his accusatory tone take charge. They stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the ground floor as Castle levelled Alexis with a fake stern look.

Alexis just smiled that charming Castle smile and held up a thermos. "Definitely not mine."

Castle's facade dropped. He returned the smile and took the thermos out of her hand as he pecked the top of her head. "Is it not the parents' duty to take care of their offspring?"

Alexis hiked her school bag up her arm and looked straight at her reflection in the elevator doors. "You know, I heard that somewhere too." She couldn't hide the smirk that made its way onto her face.

Castle smiled down at his daughter and wrapped his free arm around her shoulders. The ding that signalled their arrival to their floor made Castle retract his arm from her but, as he did, he grabbed her school bag and hiked it up his shoulder.

"Gezz! Isn't it a health and safety hazard to be lugging this many school books on under developed shoulders and back?" Castle complained as he hoisted the bag up further, feeling the full weight of the bag on his back. "Or any back for that matter?" he groaned.

Alexis rolled her eyes but smiled at her dad. "I can carry my own school bag you know, have been for like my whole school life."

Castle straightened and strode with a bounce in his step as he pretended to not be affected by the weight of the bag. "I guess I have to stay in shape somehow."

In actual fact, Castle did like carrying his daughters' school bag. She was growing up too fast for his liking and any chance he gets for treating her like his little girl again; he takes it without a second thought. If it was up to Castle he would keep her young forever, never allowing her to grow up, like Peter Pan.

Though he knows that she knows what he does, Castle appreciates the fact that she turns a blind eye to it. Again he has never – and suspects he will never – understand how Alexis came to be who she is with a sugar rushed man-child as a father, a flaky, shopaholic as a mother and an eccentric grandmother.

Whatever the reason for it though, Castle certainly wasn't complaining.

After dropping Alexis off at school and deciding on a pick up time, Castle decided to keep walking rather than catching a cab. He thought that maybe the fresh air – as fresh as the air of New York can be – might help to clear his head. He walked to the usual coffee shop that's close to the 12th and got the usual, except he decided to get two bear claws as his empty stomach kept reminding him about the lack of food he has consumed of late.

Walking into the bullpen, he spotted his muse sitting at her desk, bent over her paperwork. He stopped for a moment and just watched her. Watching Beckett was something that Castle found amusing yet intriguing.

The adorable yet serious frown that is always present when she's deep in thought. The soft, usually incoherent, mumbling of what she's writing as she writes it. He realized that she's unaware of her doing it when she mumbled "Castle" and "helpful" in the same sentence when he was sitting in his co-pilot chair. Castle has been watching her do paperwork since day one but it will never become old or boring to watch.

He smiled to himself and continued his walk to Beckett's desk. He placed the coffee cup and the paper bag containing her bear claw in front of her and spoke in a very cheerful voice. "Good morning Detective..." he said drawing out the "good". "...I trust you slept well?"

Still amerced in her paperwork, she replied distractedly. "You know Castle, just because you're staring at me from afar doesn't make it any less creepy."

"So you had a bad night sleep then?" Castle asked innocently, knowing that he will get the Beckett glare. Though it is a dangerous and scary look – that comes from one so beautiful – he finds it to be one of the most commanding qualities about her. To Castle anyone can tell him to shut up and grow up but all Beckett has to do is that look of hers and his mouth is closed faster than when she's behind the wheel of his Ferrari.

The glare that he expected found his face and he suddenly remembers her driving his Ferrari. He seats himself in his co-pilot chair and pretends to be unaffected by the glare. A slight smirk twitched at the corner of her mouth which Castle interpreted to being a quiet triumph. He watched as she tried to hide it by drinking her coffee. He grabs his own coffee and takes a huge mouth full of the hot, bitter liquid as the remnants of sleep still lingered in his body.

"Why are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?" Beckett asked suddenly, finally tearing her eyes from her paperwork to look at him. She quirked an eyebrow at him "did you have to do the walk of shame again?"

Castle's own eyebrow shot up to suppress a smile. Let the playful banter begin. "Why Detective? I didn't know you take such an interest in my fashion choices. So much so that you can remember what I was wearing yesterday."

"I'm a Detective Castle. It's my job to notice things."

"You fantasized about ripping my shirt off again, didn't you Detective?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Please Castle, I think you do enough fantasizing about yourself for the both of us."

He shrugged. "If you include dreaming as fantasizing then I am not ashamed to admit it." He leaned in closer to Beckett as he felt his smirk make its way onto his face. "Plus, in said dream, you are never against ripping my shirt off. In fact, you..." He trailed off as her glare returned. He felt like he was shrinking a size or ten under that glare; it was just so intense and surprisingly sexy.

Beckett opened her mouth to reply but her phone started to ring and Castle's curiosity immediately perked up. The only time Beckett's phone rings is when doctor motorcycle boy is on his break or…"Beckett…okay, we'll be right out."

"Come on Castle" she said as she pulled her coat on.

Castle smiled as he pulled on his own coat and followed Beckett in the elevators. She pushed the button as Castle got on the elevator. "So, what's happened?" he asked as the doors closed.

"Murder in Central Park." She said matter-of-factly.

"Drug deal gone wrong." Castle said immediately. "No wait, mugging gone wrong! Or it was a mob hit, even better, an assassination gone wrong." She saw his eyes light up as he turned towards her. "Or an assassination gone right."

Beckett rolled her eyes, this type of behaviour she was used to. "How about we get there first Castle"

"Oh come on, have a guess, it's fun!" He tried to convince her.

He watched her glance up at the numbers slowly lighting up as they descended in the elevator. "Isn't it enough that we solve the case with the limited amount of clues we get already?"

Castle sighed as the beeping of the elevator sounded and the doors opened. He stepped to the side and held them open, waiting for Beckett to exit first. "I bet you were that kid that no one wanted to play 'guess who' with."

As she walked out he fell in step beside her. "Actually guess who was fine, it was I spy that I didn't like."

Castle smiled, he kind of wasn't surprised but he had to ask anyway. "Really? One of the most iconic children's car games and you refused to play it? Next you're going to tell me that you didn't play hangman"

He watched her smile a little as they reached her car. They both slid into their respected seats as Beckett started the engine and pulled out of the lot. "Actually, that was one of my favourite games."

He looked over at her and noticed that look, that far off look she got when she spoke about her past. "My mum and I would play it all the time." That was all Castle needed to hear, as he imagined taking another brick off that wall.

The rest of the drive was in a comfortable silence with Beckett lost in happy memories and Castle in a genuinely good mood.

They arrived at the scene and walked past the tape to see Lanie bent over the body and Esposito and Ryan talking to civilians, Castle guessed them to be the people who found the body.

"Hey Lanie" Beckett said as she stood next to the medical examiner. "What do we have?"

Lanie kept her eyes on the face-down body as she spoke to them. "Male, no wallet, no ID, found by that couple over there." She pointed towards the people Ryan and Esposito were talking to.

"Do you know cause yet?" Beckett asked.

Castle took in the bloody pulp of the body and frowned at Lanie "He wasn't beaten to death?" he asked like it was obvious.

"Yes and no." Lanie sighed as she finally stood and looked at them. "Judging by the lack of fingernails and the large lesions across his back, I'd say he was tortured within an inch of his life. But a gunshot to the back of the head…" she squatted and used her pen to move the victim's hair out of the way so they could see the entry wound. "…finished him off for good."

"So he was tortured them executed." Beckett summarised.

Lanie shrugged her shoulders and looked back at the body. "My initial judgement from what I've seen is that would be accurate, if not on the nose, but do you see this?" She asked pointing to a nasty cut on his shoulder. "This wound is fresh, like bakery bread fresh."

Castle frowned. "So, this is probably the dumping site rather than the murder scene?" He asked Lanie.

Lanie crossed her arms and nodded absently "Judging from the state of our vic, and the amount of blood he looks to have lost, there is no blood pooling or blood splatter in this immediate vicinity to support this as a crime scene. This cut could be post-mortem from being caught on something while being dragged here, or maybe, whoever is behind this is trying to cover up something or throw us off the trail?"

"Why would a killer try to cover an obvious kill shot to the head with signs of torture?" He asked

"Maybe the kill shot isn't what the killer is trying to hide." Beckett replied. Castle couldn't help but smile a little; he loves the way his and Beckett's minds function like two well-oiled cogs in a grandfather clock. When one of their cogs turned, the other went with the motion and meshed together smoothly to make one, solid, crime fighting brain.

"What about time of death?" Beckett asked crouching by the body.

Castle saw Lanie's mouth make a tight line as she considered the body. "I can't give you an accurate or an educated guess without taking him back to the lab and cleaning the dirt and god knows what else off of him."

"Okay, Thanks Lanie." Beckett stood up just as Esposito was approaching.

"Yo Beckett."

"Hey Esposito, got anything for me?"

He was about to speak when his glance at Castle made him stop and look at him. "Bro, don't you know that you always have a spare change of clothes in your car for the next morning?"

Castle frowned at him confused until he realized what he was getting at. "The walk of shame is usually the girls' duty Espo…" Castle said bravely as he saw out the corner of his eye, Beckett cross her arms and levelled him with a stern look. Not quite the Beckett glare, it was more of an 'I dare you to finish that sentence' look, and Castle would hate to disappoint. "…Did mum make strict rules about bringing women home that she would never see again?"

Esposito looked at him incredulously. "That's rich coming from one who actually lives with his mother."

"Hey! She lives with me" Castle replied defensively.

"Guys!" Beckett interrupted them. Castle looked at her and though her voice was stern her barely suppressed smile told another story. "Police tape, dead body, murder." She said slowly and purposefully. "A little respect 'kay?"

"Well Mr and Mrs Barlett over there, said that they just came upon the body at around 7 this morning." Esposito told her as he read out of his notebook. "The say that they always take morning walks at around the same time every morning because no one is usually around at that time."

Beckett just looked out into the distance and nodded. Castle noticed her bottom lip had been drawn between her teeth – which drove him crazy when she did that – and that ridiculously adorable frown made its way to her brow.

"What is it?" He asked her.

"This is central park, that's 843 acres of land, with dozens of off-road trails through hundreds of acres of forest…"

As if catching onto her thought, Castle chimed in. "So why leave the body in the open?"

Beckett just nodded absently. Esposito looked between the two; not even trying to hide his amusement as Ryan had made his way over to join the three.

"I've got it!" Everyone turned their heads to look at Castle as he abruptly announced with a snap of his fingers. "This body is just a decoy to lead us off the trail of what the big picture is."

He looked at everyone expectantly and after seeing Esposito's serious face, Ryan's blank face and Beckett's eye roll, he decided to carry on when Beckett interrupted. "Let me guess, the CIA has something to with this"

"Don't they always?"

"Yeah, because all the cases you've participated in involve the CIA." She retorted letting the sarcasm drip from her voice.

"Uh Beckett?" Lanie called out "You better come and have a look at this."

They all started to make their way over to her when she held her hand up to stop everyone. "Just Beckett."

The boys all looked at each other confused and then at Lanie and Beckett who seem to be having a 'Jedi' conversation. Castle watched Beckett the whole time as he noticed her expressions change to that of confusion to understanding.

She rounded on the two detectives and spoke as if nothing had happened; she always was good at that. "You two, identify our vic, find his next of kin and dig into his past." Castle saw the subtle flash of sadness in her hazel eyes as she mentioned the next of kin. Informing the families of their loss is probably the worst part about her job, but that is a burden she and every cop everywhere has to bare.

Esposito and Ryan nodded and walked off without another word. Beckett was about to go to Lanie with Castle in tow when she turned around and poked her finger in his chest. "You, stay"

Castle frowned at her. "Beckett I think we have been working together long enough for you to realize that I'm not going to listen to that order."

"Well this time you will." She ordered but Castle just smirked and quirked an eyebrow at her which made her huff a breath in frustration. "Just entertain yourself for a couple of minutes while I go and see Lanie okay?"

"Are you giving me permission to fantasize?"

She levelled him with a playful glare – the one that Castle notices her eyes narrow into a glare but her smirk say she's having fun. She lightly touched the thin fabric of his shirt and dragged her fingers tantalizingly up to grab his collar. "I do have a habit of ruining men's shirts." She said, referring to his dream, turning away and biting her lip.

Castle watched her walk towards Lanie slightly stupefied. He has no idea how she has such a hold on him. He almost rolled his eyes at himself for being so naïve; he knows perfectly well why she has such an effect over him. But, regardless, it's still mesmerizing.

Castle looked around at his surroundings as he rocked back and forth on his heels. For Castle, having nothing to do was like sending a child to the timeout corner; utterly boring with a hint of awkwardness. He looked up and saw a jogger heading onto one of the bush trails, his eyes scanned to the opposite side and saw a big group of morning runners skirting the outskirts of the crime scene, taking regular glances at the commotion.

Castle sighed, there was nothing he could do until Beckett gets back. He looked over at her progress with Lanie and saw them talking in hushed tones and pointing at the dead body. They both crouched by the body when Lanie's helpers picked the body up and put it onto the gurney.

He watched as Beckett's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open in wonder or shock – Castle couldn't tell but by her possum looking in the headlights look he guessed the latter.

He was about to make his way over there when her eyes met his, stopping him in his tracks. He realized that it was neither shock nor wonder but instead all he could see was fear swimming in her hazel eyes.

The look she was giving him was constricting his throat and made all English literature – that should be permanently burned into his brain – freeze. Instead, he cocked his head to the side and frowned at Beckett hoping that the look alone would hold question within itself.

She picked up what looked to be a photo printed out from a stationary shop or a home printer, and took one last look at it before standing up and slowly making her way to him.

Castle glanced at Lanie and saw her still crouched where the body was but she held a solemn expression that was aimed at him, but why?

He met Beckett's intense gaze as she stopped right in front of him. He frowned slightly and she had paled ever so slightly. He glanced at the photo that she was hiding from him then back at her. This was something serious, something that she really didn't want to give to him, something that was apparently left for him at a crime scene.

"Beckett…?" He choked out quietly. He didn't know if he wanted to see this offensive object that had even Katherine Beckett hesitating.

"I'm so sorry" She breathed out, using that sincere voice that she would always use with the victims' families. She turned the photo to show Castle and held it up for him to take.

He vaguely remembers his breath stopping and his whole body going as rigid as a plank of wood. He could hear his blood being pumped through his veins as he looked at that familiar face that was looking back at him with pleading eyes and a gag over her mouth.

"Alexis…" He whispered.

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**Okay so this was a really long one, come to think of it I probably should've put some of this in the previous chapter, but oh well. I wanted to get to this point of the story; I just didn't think it would take close to 4000 words doing it.**

**Happy reading**

**Melissa**


	3. Of Messages in Clues

**I'm so sorry everyone! I was away on holiday in South Korea for the past three weeks and I've just come back (btw it was awesome!) but now I'm sick! Luckily, though, I managed to write while I was away.**

**The thing is, we all know that I wrote this story a while ago, so long ago in fact, that Captain Montgomery was still alive. So while re-reading and editing this chapter I was thinking about changing it to mid-way through season 4, but then I thought about how much Beckett was going through and how, I guess, moody and maybe even go so far as to say dark that season was.**

**So I think I better just stick to how the story was supposed to be presented when I first wrote it.**

**Lol thanks for listening and happy reading**

**DISCLAIMER: Nothing has changed from previous chapters **

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_He met Beckett's intense gaze as she stopped right in front of him. He frowned slightly and she had paled ever so slightly. He glanced at the photo that she was hiding from him then back at her. This was something serious, something that she really didn't want to give to him, something that was apparently left for him at a crime scene._

_"Beckett…?" He choked out quietly. He didn't know if he wanted to see this offensive object that had even Katherine Beckett hesitating._

_"I'm so sorry" She breathed out, using that sincere voice that she would always use with the victims' families. She turned the photo to show Castle and held it up for him to take._

_He vaguely remembers his breath stopping and his whole body going as rigid as a plank of wood. He could hear his blood being pumped through his veins as he looked at that familiar face that was looking back at him with pleading eyes and a gag over her mouth._

_"Alexis…" He whispered_

Castle felt numb.

The most important person in his world has been kidnapped?

Denial started to seep through as he stared at the photo "no…no" He shook his head and looked up into Beckett's eyes. "No this must be some kind of mistake. I saw her only a couple of hours ago! I-I dropped her off at school."

Beckett looked at him solemnly and reached out to grab his shoulder but he retreated from her touch. "No Beckett, I'm telling you that it's impossible. How is it that this body was found at seven this morning but I saw my daughter off at school at eight!?"

She looked at him, almost with pity. He didn't understand why though, as far as Castle was concerned Alexis was fine, that poor girl in the photo looks a lot like Alexis but he knows that it's not.

"Castle I -" Beckett began quietly but Castle cut her off.

"Look I'll prove it to you." He said as he fished frantically through his pockets for his phone. He pressed the number One speed dial and waited impatiently for her to pick up. He smiled at her to show her that he is right and there is nothing to worry about but Beckett just watched with intense curiosity.

Castle heard the other line being picked up and a sweet voice filled his ears. "Dad?"

He let out a breath he didn't realise he was holding upon hearing her voice. "Hey pumpkin"

Beckett visibly relaxed also upon hearing Castles response.

"That's not a name I'm usually associated with Richard." A slightly accented male voice now carried through the phone. "But I guess it was an honest mistake I mean this is Alexis' phone."

Castle felt his blood run cold. He couldn't feel, see or hear anything; everything was a distant hum and blur.

"You still there Ricky?" the voice laughed,

"Where is she?" he choked out.

"She's safe if that's what you mean."

"The hell it is! Tell me where she is right now!" he commanded with ferocity in his voice.

"In due time Ricky" and with that the click of the end call and the rhythmic beeping noises indicating the dead line.

It was really happening. He stared at his phone feeling that confused feeling again.

Was this really happening? He didn't just talk to a man on Alexis' phone – he couldn't of. His daughter was safe and sound at school wasn't she?

He contemplated dialling her number again, just to double check but jumped as a hand gripped his shoulder. The world rushed back to him in colour and sounds. It hit him so hard that he felt nauseous and light headed. He wanted to lie down but another hand gripped his other shoulder, preventing him from falling.

"Castle?" Her voice asked hesitantly.

She never hesitated with him.

"Hey, Castle look at me" She said softly but Castle couldn't bear to look into those beautiful hazel eyes for he knew they would hold some sort of pity for him.

Castle didn't have much of a choice though as Beckett bent her head to look up into his downturned eyes.

"Castle, we will get her back"

When Castle finally met her gaze her eyes were void of sympathy but hardened like her voice is commanding. Her mouth was set in determination; the tell-tale sign that meant she was not going to give up. All Castle could do was nod his head slightly.

She gave him one last searching look and squeezed his shoulder before turning around and grabbing out her phone.

Castle was utterly confused. His intelligent brain could not wrap around the simple thought that Alexis has been kidnapped.

It sounded simple when he had heard it on the news or read it in the paper; it really was simple. Someone, more often than not children of the upper class or powerful families, would get kidnapped and held for ransom, or, it could be a bit more complicated where the kidnapper would take a child, or person, purely because they are going through a mental breakdown of such and this particular person looks like their child that they have recently loosed and to try and fill a void, they take this person, thinking it will help.

But now it's happening to him, and so fast.

He ran his fingers through his hair frustrated that was the confusing part. How could this happen so fast? Maybe if he had of just hung around for a couple of minutes, he might have been able to prevent it.

He made the mistake of glancing over at the vic and his stupid over-active imagination started to raise panic in his head.

Will they torture her too?

He had to look away but he couldn't. His throat started to tighten and he felt the back of his eyes start to sting.

He was about to cry – something he hasn't done in a long time. A tear hasn't been shed ever since he felt the rejection of seeing Beckett kissing Demming. Even then it was literally a tear; one he didn't even know had fallen until he felt it on his hand while holding his coffee cup. Since then and apart from the day Alexis was born, he hasn't cried since he was a boy; there was never reason enough for him to do so.

He managed to look up and focus on Beckett's back. For some reason watching her work calmed him a little - it made his foggy head less so.

It cleared enough for him to realise how he was sounding to himself. If anyone was to be able to listen to his thoughts they would think that they had found Alexis this morning not a man that he has never met before.

His fists curled and uncurled at his sides, he had to get rid of this foggy confusion in his head. Alexis was alive, kidnapped yes, but alive, which means there is still hope of her safe arrival and if Castle wants to stay strong for his daughter then he needs to cling to that sliver of hope like it was his own lifeline.

No, he'll cling to it like it's her lifeline, because as far as Castle is concerned, she is the most important person in the world.

"I just got off the phone with Montgomery." Beckett said walking back over to him but after noticing his total change in demeanour she slowed down her approach and gave him a scrutinizing look. "Castle, you with me?"

Castle clenched his jaw and nodded curtly. "I'm here Beckett. What did Captain have to say?"

She gave him a last glance and carried on with what she was saying. "Well, he says that we will catch the son of a bitch who has taken Alexis away from you. He's put me in full charge of this case and told me to use any resources that I can to ensure her safe return."

Castle just gave another curt nod so Beckett sighed and reached out to him. She gently placed her hand on his arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Castle, look at me."

This time Castle didn't hesitate, he locked eyes with her as she continued almost whispering to him. "Rick, I promise you that I will not stop, I will not rest until Alexis is back and well in your arms again, do you understand?"

Castle bore into her eyes and knew that she was telling the truth. Even if he hasn't spent the last three years following her, he knows the truth when he sees it.

"Thank you Kate." He watched as a ghost of a smile twitched at the corner of her lip before her regular detective mode switches on.

"Good, first things first though." She removed her hand and gave him a stern look. "Go home Castle."

Castle blanched. Go home? Was that even possible right now? He started to shake his head and voice his opinion when she interrupted him. "Look Castle, you need to go home, honestly you look like crap."

He was taken aback and looked down at himself feeling slightly offended. "Wow, you should do pep talks more often."

"This is not me doing my job Castle, this is me being a friend and friends are honest with each other. So, this is me being honest with you: you need to go home, have a shower, get yourself cleaned up, have a proper meal because it looks like you've skipped a couple." Castle heaved out a sigh as he stared at her. How could she possible be asking him to take care of himself when time, usually in kidnapping cases, is always against them?

She heaved out a sigh and softened her voice. "Trust me Castle, right now you are not going to feel like doing what I just said but in all honesty it's the only thing you can do right now. Until we get the body to the morgue or until Ryan and Esposito get a hit on our vic there is nothing else we can do." She gripped his arm again and gave it a little squeeze. "Besides the kidnappers might be in contact for a ransom of some description. Either way, I will keep you informed the whole time. I know what it's like to be kept in the dark so I promise to call you when we get something."

Castle sighed, she was right of course. There was nothing anyone could do until they did an actual investigation.

"Okay" he replied letting all of his displeasure show and began to walk away from the worst crime scene of his life.

Castle arrived home to the deafening silence of his loft. He's used to this during the day and usually wouldn't mind it, but today, he can't help but to think that this could be the way it is from now on, making the silence unbearable. He walked over to his rarely used stereo and turned it on. He didn't care what was on, he just needed the noise.

Castle glanced up the stairs, where he knew she was asleep only a few hours earlier before walking through to his bedroom ensuit.

He gripped the sides of the basin and stared at himself in the mirror. He couldn't help but to think of the research that he's done for his previous books. He paid people or charmed his way out of trouble. He was prepared for many situations. But no amount of research could have prepared him for this.

Feeling that earlier confusion starting to clog his brain again he quickly tore his gaze away from the mirror and turned the shower on. He quickly undressed and jumped in the shower, not caring that it didn't have time to heat up. The water hit him like thousands of needles trying to pierce his skin. Closing his eyes, he tried to think of something – anything to get his mind off of Alexis, but he couldn't.

It's foolish for him to even try and forget about the situation because Alexis and Martha are something and everything he thinks and does revolve around them.

With that thought he couldn't help but to feel guilty. Alexis is kidnapped and he can't tell his own mother; Alexis's grandmother, because once she finds out she will come straight home from her holiday in the Hamptons and Castle believes that where she is right now, out of the way and far away, is the safest option for her.

He's trying to protect her, for her own good.

When Castle stepped out of the shower he dried himself off and walked into his closet. He grabbed his grey track pants and an old black, plain shirt and pulled them on. As he reached for his phone to call Martha, just to satisfy himself by hearing her voice, he stopped and stared at his home screen photo on his phone. It was of Alexis and himself. It was during their most recent annual movie night that they decided to have once a month. They were halfway through the third movie when Castle felt a weight drop on his shoulder. When he looked down, Alexis was sound asleep. So he carefully got his iPhone out and took a picture.

He smiled sadly at the memory while his finger stroked the picture of Alexis' content face. He still remembers how they made ice cream sundaes and how most of the popcorn ended up on the floor after they attempted to throw popcorn into each-others mouths.

He studied her pure and innocent face and wondered how anyone in their right mind would want to hurt her. He looked up to the mirror that was sitting on top of his dresser and saw the reason for her kidnapping. There is no way that anyone would want to kidnap her without a reason and he knew that he was the reason. You didn't become rich, successful and somewhat famous without stepping on a few hands to get there. Someone is either out for revenge or they want money.

Either way, Castle will not be forgiving when he comes face to face with the bastard.

Castle made himself put his phone in his pocket and got up to head to the kitchen. He stopped as he passed the stairs though. He looked up and before he realised what was happening his feet were already walking him up there.

When he got to the top and saw that her door was left ajar he stopped in his tracks. She never left her door ajar. It was a weird OCD thing she got into; she either had to have a door fully open or closed but having it slightly opened drove her crazy.

Castle strained his ears to see if he could hear anything but he couldn't. He stiffened as he realized why he couldn't hear anything.

The stereo is off.

He knows he turned it on when he got home.

He slowly made his feet shuffle along the carpet to make sure no one could hear him. He stopped right outside her door and waited, listening for any movement inside.

Though he heard nothing it didn't stop him from being cautious. He slowly placed his hand millimetres from the door. He's been following Beckett for three years now that he's mimicking what they would do when they are about to burst into an apartment. The only difference is that he has no gun and no backup.

He took a silent gulp of air and forced the door open so it banged against the wall. He swiftly went inside in a half crouch with his hands curled into fists, preparing for the worst.

On first look it seemed as though no one had been in here. He checked her over-stuffed closet and under her unmade bed but there was nothing.

Castle stood up frowning, he didn't know what but something was off in her room. He slowly backed up to the door and stared at her unmade bed.

Before he had time to really think about it, Castle jumped when he heard a knocking at his door. He took a deep breath and went down stairs to see who it was.

He swung the door open and frowned. "Beckett? What're you doing here?"

Beckett stepped around Castle to get inside. "Thought I'd get a head start on the tech guys." She said shrugging

Castle had his back to her as he closed his door, he had to take a deep breath and compose himself for her. Beckett needed to concentrate on finding his daughter not worry about whether or not he's okay.

"Castle, you okay?" She asked from the kitchen counter.

He pushed himself off the door and made his way over to her. "Considering the circumstances, I'm okay."

She scrutinized him with that look she gives him when she doesn't believe him. He rolled his eyes a little.

"Beckett I'm fine okay? Look, I even had a shower." He said holding out his arms so she could see his clean clothes.

She didn't respond for a bit, she knew how to read people, even Castle's poker face wasn't good enough sometimes. For whatever the reason though Castle knew she could see he was anything but fine but instead went along with it.

"Well well, who would've guessed that Richard Castle knows how to do his own laundry?" She said smiling a bit. He recognized her attempts to lighten the mood but Castle frowned in response to her comment.

"Her bed…" He muttered under his breath as something clicked in his mind.

Beckett frowned at him. "What?"

Castle took off and bounded up the stairs. He opened Alexis' bedroom door and stood in the doorway again, staring at her bed. It suddenly dawned on him as to why her room felt so out of place.

Beckett appeared behind him and started to stare at what she thought Castle was staring at. "Castle, what is it?"

As if afraid to check, he stood as still as a chameleon trying to camouflage into his surroundings. A hundred thoughts were flying through his head, allowing him to only give Beckett a little information: "Alexis didn't make her bed."

Beckett frowned at Castle confused. "Castle, I don't think now is the time to be worrying about the tidiness of her bedroom."

Castle shook himself and forced his brain to concentrate on what Beckett was saying.  
"Not her bedroom her bed."

He felt Beckett grab his shoulder and turn him to look at her. "Castle…" he still stared at Alexis' bed but when he saw her trying to catch his attention he turned his eyes on hers. "I know the situation that you're in at the moment is not exactly mentally healthy for you. But I need you to be strong for me and Alexis right now." She said sternly but softly.

She looked directly into his eyes and he saw such a rainbow of emotions that he really couldn't pinpoint one.

"I need you to just take a deep breath, take a moment to gather your thoughts then tell me what's so significant about her unmade bed."

Castle took a huge breath of air and held it in long enough for him to feel a little bit more relaxed. He let the breath out slowly and marched toward Alexis' bed. "That's just it…" he replied calmly. "…her bed is unmade. Alexis never leaves the loft without making her bed."

Beckett shrugged "She's a teenager Castle. Most teenagers her age don't care about the appearance of their room."

Castle shook his head and started to pull back the blankets and sheets, trying to see if there was anything left in the bed. "Alexis isn't like normal teenagers her age Beckett, you know that. Just look at the rest of her room, it's clean and organized."

He knew that her silence was either her agreeing with him or she was actually looking around the room at his daughter's cleanliness.

He searched frantically under the blankets and sheets trying to find whatever it is that he was supposed to find. When he came to the conclusion that nothing was there he threw the first pillow he grabbed on the ground. His hand reached for the next pillow when he froze.

There was another picture of Alexis. It was the same one that they found at the crime scene.

"Beckett" He called out to her as he pointed to the picture.

She walked over to him. "It's the same one as the one we found at the crime scene." She said as she picked the photo up – careful to only touch the corners of the photo to not contaminate any fingerprints the kidnapper could've left – and studied it.

Castle saw a cassette tape that was left under the photograph. He frowned as he noticed the writing on the label he read what it said and sucked in a sharp breath.

He looked to Beckett at exactly the same time she looked to him. She frowned at him, the look holding question within itself.

Castle desperately wanted to grab the offending object and hide it away from Beckett. This was to do with him, not her; he had a sudden urgency to protect her. Truth be told, he always had this feeling but this is a more intense feeling of protection, he needed to protect her.

But his eyes involuntarily darted to the tape and she immediately followed his gaze. She frowned and leaned in slightly to read the writing on the tape but as soon as she did Castle watched as her face paled and her jaw slackened.

She handled the tape like she did the photo by picking it up at the corners. Castle watcher her eyes read and re-read the small sentence. She opened her mouth and read it aloud, almost as if hearing it aloud will confirm what she is really reading.

"Hello Detective Beckett, it's good to see you again."

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**Hope you liked this chapter, it could start to get confusing because that was as far as this story went when I wrote it a few years ago, so I'm picking it up again and I have a very vague idea about which direction it's heading.**

**I'm sorry this chapter took so long, but my goal is to get a chapter out every week until it's finished.**

**Anyways, happy reading.**

**Melissa**


	4. Of Bizarre In Ransoms

**SORRY! I have been super busy trying to re-organize my life since coming home, plus University has started back up again so I'm writing this while I'm free.**

**Btw, if you have any criticisms or things you think I need improving on then please tell me. I love writing but I want to become better at it, because I know that really I'm not that great lol. So, please, if you have any critiques tell me and I will work on it.**

**Oh and I've also finally decided that this is set after the 3x22 episode: "To Love and Die in L.A."**

**On that note…DISCLAIMER: STILL, NOTHING HAS CHANGED.**

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_Castle saw a cassette tape that was left under the photograph. He frowned as he noticed the writing on the label he read what it said and sucked in a sharp breath._

_He looked to Beckett at exactly the same time she looked to him. She frowned at him, the look holding question within itself._

_Castle desperately wanted to grab the offending object and hide it away from Beckett. This was to do with him, not her; he had a sudden urgency to protect her. Truth be told, he always had this feeling but this is a more intense feeling of protection, he needed to protect her._

_But his eyes involuntarily darted to the tape and she immediately followed his gaze. She frowned and leaned in slightly to read the writing on the tape but as soon as she did Castle watched as her face paled and her jaw slackened._

_She handled the tape like she did the photo by picking it up at the corners. Castle watcher her eyes read and re-read the small sentence. She opened her mouth and read it aloud, almost as if hearing it aloud will confirm what she is really reading._

"_Hello Detective Beckett, it's good to see you again." _

Castle was watching Beckett stare at the tape like it was some sort of grotesque growth. He slowly reached a hand out to her shoulder, upon contact Beckett jumped and turned her wide eyes to meet his.

"Hey, Beckett, it's okay" He said trying to soothe her but even as he said those words he knew it was a lie. Finding a cassette tape underneath a photo of the kidnapped girl, on the bed of the kidnapped girls' bedroom is not okay; especially considering who that kidnapped girl is.

He searched her eyes and noticed how her expressions changed from shock to confusion to barely contain anger in a matter of seconds.

"What the hell is this Castle?" She whispered through gritted teeth.

Castle knew that she knew he didn't know, but he understood her need to know – he guessed it came with the territory of being a detective.

She would never admit to this but Castle was probably one of only four people that Castle knew of, in her lifetime that she depended on to help her when the chips are down. When Beckett needed a shoulder to lean on Castle was always there, whether she wanted him to be or not.

Castle looked at the tape she held between them and closed his hand over hers which is holding the tape. "Beckett…" He began softly but her eyes were fixed on the tape in their hands.

He couldn't let her do this to herself, he knows exactly what's going through her head at this moment and he does not need her going down a rabbit hole of self-blame. This can't be her fault, Alexis is his daughter, therefore, his responsibility. He ducked his head to try and get her focus away from the tape.

"Do not do this to yourself- -"

"Castle there was a tape left for me on Alexis' bed, how can I not believe that this is about me or at least my fault?" She asked him with what Castle could only describe as fear; an emotion that Castle is not familiar with when it comes to Beckett.

"These people have obviously done this before. They are professionals, I mean think about it; the timing of the snatch and us arriving at the crime scene was perfect which means this isn't just a normal kidnapping. Our loft and everything we do was probably under surveillance for a while now, which means that they know that I work with you." He said softly yet with a lot of conviction, though he couldn't tell if his words were getting through to her or not.

"Kate, I need you." This had the desired effect he wanted; her eyes snapped to his. His hand acted of its own will and cupped her cheek. "I need you to be strong for me. I need my daughter back and if anyone is going to do it, I know that you won't fail me."

He watched her search his eyes, for what he didn't know but whatever he said must've worked because the next thing he knows she's standing in the doorway with the tape in hand and that determined look on her face. "You comin' Castle?"

He just smiled and followed her downstairs to the living room. They made a beeline for Castle's barely used stereo as it was one which actually took cassette tapes. Beckett opened it up, slid the tape in and closed it again but turned her head to look at him while her finger hovered over the play button.

"You ready?"

Castle grit his teeth and gave a curt nod. In all honesty he was absolutely terrified of what could be on there but he has to do this. This is the only clue that they have so far that leads to Alexis.

As soon as Beckett hit play Castle immediately recognized that slightly accented male voice who sounds like he's been smoking all of his life.

"Hello detective, Ricky, I trust you two are well." Castle felt his heart pumping hard in his chest. This man is so infuriatingly smug; it just makes Castle eager to meet him so he can punch him hard in the face.

"Now I'm sure you've recognized my voice by now Ricky but what about you detective Beckett? I wonder if you recognize it." Castle frowned upon hearing this and turned towards Beckett to gauge her reaction. Her eyes were slightly wider showing surprise but her jaw is clenched pointing more towards anger than anything else.

"No matter it has been eight years, I'm sure that with you're busy working days and the amount of people you meet every day, my voice has probably blended in with the rest. In any case, Ricky I'm sure you want to know how your daughter is." Castle tensed at hearing this and jumped suddenly when his phone started to ring.

Beckett paused the tape while Castle grabbed his phone to see Alexis' number calling him. He swiped his finger across the screen and tentatively brought the phone up to his ear.

"Dad?"

Castle felt a bit of relief flood through him as the confirmation of his daughter being alive was truly a happy moment for him. He felt the back of his eyes start to sting again and a lump form in his throat, he swallowed past the lump and responded with barely contained emotion. "Hey pumpkin how're you holding up?"

"As best as I can, I guess." She replied. Castle frowned though, she certainly did sound calm. Maybe it was because she was talking to him?

Whatever the case, she was alive and talking to him. "That's my girl, I'm coming to get you okay? I'll be there before you know it."

"Okay dad, I love you."

Castle smiled slightly and found his vision starting to get watery as the tears appeared in his eyes. "I lov- -" A click on the other end of the line sounded and cut Castle off. That despair started to refill the recently emptied place in his heart. He felt like he was on the verge of panicking. He looked at his phone and hit redial but it came back with the out of service ring.

"Damn it!" He threw his phone on to the couch and scrubbed the tears out of his eyes. Once feeling a little more composed he looked over at Beckett and was grateful to find her void of any emotion. He knows she feels for him, she has a lot of empathy for one person, but he's thankful that right now she's containing it.

"I guess that was their way of confirming that she is still alive."

"Yeah" His voice cracked a little from the emotion, so he cleared his throat and ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Just play the rest of the tape."

Beckett obliged and hit play again. "Well that was sweet wasn't it? I guess now that you know Alexis is still alive, I guess we should be thinking about ransoms."

Castle was ready to whip out his check book then and there. The life of his daughter had no price tag, he is willing to give up every cent he has.

"My ransom, no, my demand is this: solve the murder." Castle was taken aback and when he looked at Beckett to see her look of surprise he knew that he didn't mishear that.

"Solve the murder Ricky and you shall have your daughter back. Solve the murder and everyone who is supposed to live will but anyone who was meant to die will." And with that the tape stopped.

Castle was confused, he has never in his lifetime heard of anything sounding so absurd. He looked to Beckett and saw her in the same state he was in. That confused frown has made its way onto her forehead as she looked up at him. "Solve the murder? That's it?" She asked incredulously.

Castle could only manage to shrug his shoulders. "I guess he doesn't know the kind of crime solving team we are together." Beckett smiled slightly at the comment and nodded her agreement.

But Castle couldn't help but to think about a couple of things he said on the tape. "Beckett, it sounds like he knows you"

Beckett frowned again but this time, she had her poker face on. "I know, but like you said, they're professionals, they probably learnt a couple of things from following you."

"But he said something about eight years ago, where were you eight years ago?" Castle asked her curiously.

"Eight years…" She had to think back to what she was doing eight years ago. "…Eight years ago, I was promoted to detective. Actually it's eight years ago today"

Castle's mind started to turn over. "Maybe it was someone you met on this day eight years ago?"

"Someone I…" Beckett trailed off as something seemed to click in her head. The way her eyes went round as saucers, the way her lips parted slightly to let loose a gasp as her hand flew into her pocket.

"Beckett?" Castle asked. He watched her pull out her phone and dial a number.

"Hey Ryan, I need you to check up on someone for me. Robert Wiles. What! When? Good behaviour? Okay thanks." Just like that she hung up but instead of talking to him straight away she went silent and stared at her phone.

He couldn't help but to notice how pale she went suddenly. "Beckett? What's wrong? Who's Robert Wiles?" Castle just watched her from a safe distance waiting for her to reply.

He watched her take in a big breath of air and slowly exhaled as she rolled her shoulders and lifted her head to meet his eyes. "Robert Wiles has Alexis, and I'm the reason why."

Castle was surprised to say the least. Yes, he was surprised that she knows who has taken Alexis but he's more surprised at the fact that he can see that she didn't want to tell him. That pulling herself together act wasn't exactly preparing herself to tell me bad news, it was preparing herself for what my reaction was going to be.

At least what she thought it was going to be.

Castle was about to say something when a loud knock sounded from his door.

He swore under his breath and shouted out. "Who is it?"

"NYPD!"

That's right! Beckett did say that she got a head start on the tech guys. He looked back up at Beckett who was already moving towards the door, she opens it and lets them in.

Castle watched from the side-lines as the tech team moved quickly to set up all their equipment. He watched Beckett also talking to the person who looked like to be in charge, Castle figured she was probably just filling him in on what has progressed in the past hour or so.

Castle started to make his way to his bedroom to get changed. He knows, just as much as Beckett that this Richard Wiles guy won't be making any more calls or demands, he made it very clear: solve the murder. Castle thought back to the words on the tape, especially the chilling message at the end.

"_Solve the murder Ricky and you shall have your daughter back. Solve the murder and everyone who is supposed to live will but anyone who was meant to die will."_ That obviously meant that Wiles wants someone dead.

And Castle had a niggling idea as to who that someone is.

He started to get changed as he tried to piece together what little information that he had in his head. He thought back to when he found the tape with Beckett's name on it and how much he wished he could've just hid it from her. Keeping her in the dark may have protected her against this person whom Castle thinks is really after her.

But then why take his daughter? Wouldn't it make more sense to take someone like her father? Maybe they needed him to be there working as well. Or maybe they're just sick people who decided that Alexis was easy pickings.

Whatever the reason Castle couldn't help but to admire their timing; everything was perfect. Even down to the phone call that they made to him while listening to the tape. He had just finished tying his laces when the thought struck him.

"_Shit!"_ He quickly got up and searched for Beckett.

Upon spotting her still talking to the guy in charge he made a beeline towards her.

"Mr Castle, I'm Detective Kieren Shear, I'll be in charge of everything here so if you have any questions please don't hesitate." He said as he reached out his hand for Castle to shake.

Castle shook his hand but he desperately needed to talk to Beckett. "Hi Detective Shear, thank you but do you mind if I speak to my partner quickly?"

The detective nodded and went about his business. "What's wrong Castle?"

He lowered his voice and grabbed her elbow. "Not here" He led her out the front door and closed it behind him.

"Are you okay?" She asked but Castle just waved it off.

"I think my house has been bugged."

Beckett frowned, "why would you think that?"

"The timing I was talking about before, it was a little too perfect, don't you think? I mean just think of the call we just got, how could they have timed that with what they were saying on the tape so perfectly with the phone call?"

He watched her as it clicked in her head. She gave a quick nod and went back inside.

"Wait where are you going?" Castle asked her.

"I need to tell detective Shear." He was about to protest but then she held her hand up and carried on. "Don't worry Castle, I think you and I have the same idea of leaving that bug exactly where it is but I need to let Shear know in case we could use it to our advantage. We need him on our side" Castle just nodded and hung back in the doorway as he watched her walk over to Shear.

As soon as Beckett was finished she made her way back to him and he held the door open for her.

Beckett passed by Castle and kept walking towards the elevator "Let's go Castle, the sooner we solve this murder the sooner we can get Alexis back to you."

Castle fell into step beside her as they waited for the elevator. He couldn't help but to feel a little bit of hope flood his system as he knew how good they were together at solving murders. They entered the elevator together and Castle thought that before he knows it Alexis will be back in his arms once again.

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**That's this chapter, I have nothing really to add to the above note so, I hope you liked it and hopefully I will update again soon.**

**Melissa**


	5. Of Revelations From The Past

**Wow! I am so sorry! I guess I rushed the previous chapter out so fast I didn't properly edit it!**

**So for clarification the bad guys name is Robert Wiles not Richard and I have read over this chapter like three separate times so hopefully it'll read better than that other disastrous chapter.**

**By the way, I'm getting right into the thick of my Uni work again, plus I work weekends and I go to a lot of different sport trainings throughout the week, so to say that I'm busy is an understatement. Basically this chapter is hopefully going to be enough until I can update again, which will *fingers crossed* be soon.**

**DISCLAIMER: …Really? NO!**

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_As soon as Beckett was finished she made her way back to him and he held the door open for her._

_Beckett passed by Castle and kept walking towards the elevator "Let's go Castle, the sooner we solve this murder the sooner we can get Alexis back to you."_

_Castle fell into step beside her as they waited for the elevator. He couldn't help but to feel a little bit of hope flood his system as he knew how good they were together at solving murders. They entered the elevator together and Castle thought that before he knows it Alexis will be back in his arms once again._

That hope Castle had when they first started investigating was slowly being replaced by despair. Every so called lead turned up nothing and every shred of evidence told them nothing of use.

All they know is that the victim's name is Jared Kurt, a 32 year old working class man with no priors and no family. When Castle and Beckett went to his apartment they found nothing out of the ordinary, not even any porn on his computer, which Castle ever the observer, considered just way too weird for a single guy. In fact, both Castle and Beckett agreed that this apartment was one of the most boring apartments they've ever had to investigate.

The only interesting thing they found was a match box from the club in mid-city called "Evo" but when they went there the owner, the bouncers, the bar staff, everyone who worked there didn't identify him as a regular customer.

Lanie had called when they were on their way back to the 12th, so Beckett stopped off at the morgue. Lanie then confirmed that all lesions pointed to the chilling fact that they all feared but pretended otherwise; he was tortured before a 38. Caliber bullet was put through his skull. It only confirmed Castle's fears and made him worry all the more, if that was even possible for him.

She also managed to confirm that time of death was approximately 3:15am and the body was also dumped. What was a little helpful was Lanie had discovered that some of the cuts were showing the beginning stages of healing, while some were still fresh, so based on Kurt's health and how deep the cuts were Lanie gave an educated guess of how long they kept him alive for: at least 76 hours; though Castle did find this bit of information more daunting than helpful.

Lanie then pointed them over to the only shred of evidence she found on the body: a single strand of long blond human hair. That confused Beckett a bit as she remembers Wiles having short, jet black hair, which then pointed to the possibility of an accomplice.

As they were leaving the morgue Beckett called Esposito to see if they've had any luck on the photo that was left at the scene. They hoped that the background of the photo could at least narrow down possible locations if they scanned it, and ran it through a database of tourist websites, traffic cams, even go so far as to use 'Google Earth'. But Esposito informed them that the photo had been tampered with; the background of the photo had been edited to throw them off.

So, currently, Castle and Beckett are walking into Beckett's apartment both carrying a bag of burgers and chips in one hand, a chocolate milkshake in the other from Remy's and case files under their arms. They deposited of everything on the coffee table as Castle removed his Jacket and started to kick off his shoes and puts them by the front door.

"Okay Castle we need to go through what we know." Beckett started off as she removed her jacket also, draping it across the back of the couch and sitting down.

"I'd love to except we don't know anything" Castle snapped back. All day he had been going back and forth from crime scene, to morgue, to precinct, and for what reason exactly? Just to be told a piece of what they thought was promising evidence is actually nothing that's going to help him find his daughter!

Beckett stopped unwrapping her burger and looked up at him, concern evident in her eyes. "Come on, Castle we need to start from somewhere."

Castle threw his hands up in the air as the frustration started to take a hold of him. "From somewhere? That sounds great Beckett, hmm, let's see. Oh, that's right we can't start from somewhere because we don't have a place to start!"

"There's always a place to start Rick, the beginning is usually the best place to start a story." He knew she was trying to get him to come up with one of his theories then they can bounce it off each other and maybe be able to come up with a new lead. But he wasn't in a theory bouncing mood, maybe because his daughter has been kidnapped close to 24 hours ago and other than knowing that she's alive there is no good news as to where she may be nor are there any leads to help them put the clues together.

But if she wants the beginning, then there will be a beginning. "Okay let's start with what happened 8 years ago."'

Her startled eyes shot to his as he held them with his steady gaze. "Why do you - -"

"Because he knows you Kate, and you know him!" He raised his voice interrupting her. "Something happened 8 years ago that maybe you did or maybe you didn't but it definitely worked to piss off some psycho who has my daughter!"

Beckett was still staring back at Castle and the longer she is staring the angrier he's getting. He can feel it inside of him just building waiting to be released like some caged animal. "Kate, I need to understand why this is happening" he spoke through gritted teeth. "And I figured that to understand what is happening now, I need to know how it happened 8 years ago" Castle could feel the backs of his eyes start to sting again. He really had to get his emotion under control because this was just getting plain annoying. He took a deep breath to stop the liquid forming in his eyes and continued in a soft tone. "So please for Alexis, just tell me."

Castle watched her as she sighed in defeat. She scooted over on the couch and patted the seat next to her. When Castle didn't move to sit down, Beckett looked back at him with that commanding look she carries around. "Rick, sit down."

Castle finally obliged and sat down next to her. Even after he had settled himself, it took Beckett a little longer to tell him who this guy is to Beckett. "As Wiles said on the tape what happened between us happened 8 years ago." She started and Castle watched as calmly as he possibly.

"I was still a uniform then but I was on my way to becoming a detective with this particular case being my way in. At the time I was still going through my mother's case files, in other words I was willing to do anything to make sure I got that promotion." Castle watched her rub her hands up and down her jeans before fiddling with her mother's ring around her neck. He realised then that she was nervous, and he listened, surprised at the shaky intake of breath she took.

"What was the case about?" He asked quietly.

"The Wiles brothers ran an auto part shop by day and a smuggling business by night; smuggling everything from drugs to people."

"The Wiles brothers? There are two of them?" Castle asked almost dreading her answer.

"There was." She said quietly.

By the tone of her voice, Castle could tell that she was probably the reason for only one brother being alive. "What happened?"

She took a deep breath and started her story. "Like I said the Wiles brothers were in the smuggling business and for them business was good. Every time the NYPD got close to catching them, or caught wind of one of their deals, we'd end up with workers at best, but most of the time nothing."

"Was there a snitch in the NYPD?" Castle had to ask because it did sound a little suspicious.

Luckily for him Beckett didn't take any offense by his comment, he guessed that with all the dirty cops in her mothers' investigation it kind of desensitized her to the thought. "That's what I thought too, but I was a uniform not to mention a female in a man's job, no one was going to listen to me, so I decided to take matters into my own hands."

Castle quirked an eyebrow at her "Now that sounds interesting."

He watched the corner of her mouth twitch up a little. "We knew that the Wiles brothers owned a lot of properties all around New York but the one place which we identified as their, almost legitimate business and meeting place was the auto part shop, right smack bang in the middle of all of their properties. So, I came up with a plan to drop the uniform and use my…ways, to get myself into that garage."

"Oh god, you didn't sleep with them did you?" Castle asked a little shocked if she did.

She snorted a little and gave him her 'you're being ridiculous' look "No Castle, I didn't sleep with them. I thought about it but then I'd get myself in too deep so I had to do it at the right moment, just be patient. It took a few weeks but my patience paid off because we caught wind of another exchange that was going down later that night."

Beckett grabbed her milkshake and took a long draw from it; Castle also took this opportunity to grab some of his chips. As soon as it touched his tongue, he felt his stomach ache in hunger, he didn't realise how hungry he is.

"I managed to slip out on a supposed lunch break, I figured that if there really was a snitch then they would probably be heading down to the shop to tell them, so…"

"So you went down to the shop to do a little bit of recon." Castle finished for her impressed.

She nodded and carried on "yeah, except I had originally planned to go in there with a car that was making funny noises but then I thought that maybe it was someone I knew and I would be made."

"That could've been bad." Castle confirmed.

"You have no idea. I would've been killed straight away and back then the way they got rid of someone…" She left the sentence hanging in the air as her hand went to her mouth.

"Was it the same as Jared Kurt?"

"Yes and no. There were the knife cuts all over his body and a 38 caliber to the head but back then, they use to dismember their bodies and hang them on fences."

Suddenly Castle wasn't hungry as he looked at his chip hovering in front of his mouth and put it back down again.

"One guess as to which one of the brothers did the dismemberment." Castle commented off-handily.

"I had seen dead bodies before…" Beckett carried on, obviously ignoring his comment. "…But they were natural death bodies…these bodies, I just remembered how I put every ounce of will I had into not throwing up my lunch in front of all of the other law enforcement personal." She looked over at him and he saw the haunting in her eyes. "That was my first proper murder scene body that I had ever seen."

Castle couldn't possibly know what that would be like; seeing your first murder body as something as heinous as that. He reached his hand out and rested it on her knee, giving it a little squeeze of comfort and encouragement.

Beckett looked down at his hand and smiled a little before resting her hand on his for the briefest of moments before reaching for her milkshake again. It may have been for the shortest of contacts but he felt the appreciation she had for him just being there and listening.

"And I saw him, Detective Jonathan Easton." She carried on as a far off look appeared on her face. "He waltzed into the garage and shook hands with the brothers and acted like they were long lost friends. So, I took photos and quickly got out of there before he could make me."

"I take it he knew you then?"

She scoffed a little at his observation. "Everyone knew him, he was a good detective, a good father and husband and an all-round stand-up guy. So, to say that Captain Montgomery was shocked when he saw the photos was an understatement."

She shrugged and carried on "To make a long story short, Montgomery set up a team whom we could trust, we pretended to get intel of an exchange that was happening that evening therefore making Easton worried and make a haste exit to go and warn his buddies. I rode with another detective and tailed him to the garage, where we then radioed in to confirm that he was in fact there. The cavalry arrived quietly and so we managed to listen in without being noticed. We heard Easton telling the brothers that they need to change their meet date or place because the NYPD were onto them."

"I take it the brothers didn't have a clue what Easton was talking about?"

Beckett nodded and carried on. "We stormed the place, hard and fast. We managed to apprehend Easton, and the brothers without any casualties."

Castle waited for it; that inevitable 'but' was coming, that one that changes the story and brings it all together.

"But…" Castle began as he watched her watch his hand that was still holding fast to her knee. "…something happened."

She nodded slightly. "Just as one of the uniforms went to arrest Jack, he punched the officer in the throat and stole his piece right out of his holster on his hip and held him with his own gun to his temple."

Castle nodded finally understanding. "So you shot him"

Beckett nodded confirming it but Castle was still a little confused. "Why are you still beating yourself up about this? You did the right thing"

Beckett started to shake her head slightly as her eyes rose up to his, he was shocked to see the beginnings of tears in her eyes.

"After I shot him a scream rang out, and in a flash of yellow a girl was at his side, shaking and calling out 'daddy!'" A tear slipped out and ran in a line down her cheekbone.

Now Castle finally understood.

"She kept calling at Jack to wake up. I wanted to go to her but I was frozen to the spot, I could barely breath I just stood there doing nothing, I…" And that was it, she broke down in front of him, something that momentarily stumped him and shocked him seeing her in so much pain. He did the one thing that he could think of at that moment; he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close, she accepted gratefully as her hands fisted the front of his shirt and she buried her head into the crook of his neck. He rubbed his hand up and down her back trying to calm her down.

So that's why she was reluctant to tell him, it's a painful memory, one that she has tried to bury for so long.

"The mother left when she was a baby…" She said through a voice which was thick with emotion. "…and with Jack dead and Robert going to jail she had no next of kin, leaving her to go into the system. She was 10 years old when the shooting happened and 13 years old when she went missing. Her body was never found."

"God, Kate I'm so sorry." Castle whispered in her ear.

She pushed away from him and looked straight into his eyes with her now angry ones. "Don't apologize to me! If it wasn't for me, she may still be alive, your daughter wouldn't be in danger and both the brothers would still be rotting in jail! Don't you see Castle!? From the moment I pulled that trigger I made all of this possible! Hell from the moment I showed Montgomery those photo's I put a good cop in jail, ruining his reputation and family"

Castle watched her gaze fall to her hands in her lap. He could barely watch the normally strong, resilient woman break down in front of him, especially considering how the blame can't be completely on her.

He reached out his hands and cupped her face, gently lifting her head so he can look into her eyes. "Kate, you have to let it go." He began softly

"Easier said than done."

"The officer that Jack grabbed and nearly killed, did he have a family at the time?"

Kate rolled her eyes and sighed heavily "A wife, a young boy and another on the way."

"Is he still alive today?"

She moved her head out of his hands. "It doesn't make a difference Rick!"

"Is he or is he not alive?"

She sighed and nodded "but that doesn't bring back Sarah!"

Castle guessed Sarah to be her name. "No it doesn't but the fact that you saved another father's life and you kept an eye on Sarah is a step in the right direction."

She shook her head like she was disagreeing with him but stayed silent as a sign of agreement.

"Kate I know you…" he saw her about to protest so he held his hand up to stop her "…as much as you want to deny it, it's true, I know that you would've gone over that scenario multiple times in your head, am I right?" She didn't give an acknowledgement to either so Castle took her silence as a yes and carried on.

"Tell me Kate, did you think of anything that you could've done differently?"

"Castle that—"

"Did you or didn't you?"

"God no! Okay!? No I couldn't of anything but that doesn't take away the fact that I made a 10 year old girl an orphan, right in front of their eyes!"

She got up from the couch and started to pace in front of the coffee table. "C'mon Rick, you know what it's like to grow up without a parent, it feels like a part of you is missing, like there's a hole in your heart that was taken away."

She stopped pacing and turned to look him dead in the eye, showing him the raw pain and guilt she has been harbouring for 8 years now "But to be the cause of that piece missing in someone else's life? It eats away at your very being, your soul; you start to hate yourself and question everything you stand for."

Castle watched her for a little while, he couldn't really relate to what Beckett was telling him. Yes, Castle didn't have a father but he never knew his father to begin with and you can't really miss something you never had. But Castle still empathised with Beckett; it must be hard knowing that she killed a young girls only parent right in front of her, especially considering Beckett's past with her mother being murdered.

"Kate…" He began softly, when she didn't take notice he got up and stood right in front of her, taking hold of her shoulders. "I realise that you're probably going to ignore me but you have to know that a better man got to go home to his family that night. No matter what, you have to keep remembering that: you cannot blame yourself for the actions of Easton, he was a dirty cop putting shame on the badge he wore and Jack Wiles may have died that night and left his daughter to the system but maybe that was a chance for her to have a fresh start."

Her head dropped again but, to Castle's surprise, it fell on his chest as he felt her arms snake around his waist. He followed suit and wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on top of hers letting a small sigh slip past his lips.

They stayed like that: Castle comforting Beckett as she gripped the back of his shirt, holding onto him. "You gave Sarah a chance to be able to start again, a chance she may not have gotten had Jack been alive" he softly reassured her.

Castle felt her whole body relax against him as he was left, almost admiring at how perfectly she fitted against him. He's never actually held her like this before, physical contact between the two of them had been pretty much non-existent, save for a couple of hand grazes or shoulder bumps, but otherwise, hugging, for example, was out of the question. So for Castle to be able to hold Beckett twice within the space of an hour, and not have constant threats thrown his way, is nothing short of a miracle.

He couldn't help but to imagine that massive fortress comprised of the toughest steel known to man that's guarding her heart, shrink by two or three bricks. He had even aptly named that wall after himself as that's what he considers as his personal obstacle.

Castle was brought out of his thought process as Beckett suddenly pulled away from him. Worried, he started to apologize thinking that he's pushed his luck. "Shh!" she shushed him and he saw it: that look she gets when she's thought of something.

"What's the matter?"

"The body was found at 7am this morning right?"

Castle, a little thrown at the sudden change of topic, managed to nod his head in confirmation.

"And the body was dumped right out in the open, not even trying to conceal or hide it."

Castle not exactly grasping her train of thought responded: "Beckett what is it?"

She looked up into his eyes. "We need to talk to our witnesses, the ones who found the body."

He just looked at her confused. "Why?"

"Castle, 7 in the morning at Central Park on a Thursday, do you know how busy it is with morning runners and commuters? Someone was bound to have stumbled across the body sooner, so why had our witnesses and not anyone else?"

It was true why had they and no one else? Castle thought back to the morning and remembered looking around and seeing the amount of runners, commuters and tourists at just 10 in the morning, when people are trying to get to work on time and still go out for a run, of course they'd be out earlier, meaning the body dump isn't as random as they had initially thought.

Beckett reached for her phone "I'll call Espo and…shit!" she cursed under her breath.

"What is it?" Castle asked as he looked down at her phone between them and saw the time on her phone. 1:20am!? How long have they been talking for?

She looked back up at Castle again. "I'm sorry Castle; no one will be awake for us to do anything now. We'll have to wait until the morning."

Castle wanted to say who cares about sleeping, mainly because he knows he probably won't get any anyways, but she was right. Nothing would get done at this time of night; they're going to have to wait for a more reasonable time tomorrow.

He nodded in confirmation and uttered a quiet "okay" he looked up into her eyes and saw a look of admiration there. Taken aback he quirked an eyebrow and asked. "What's that look for?"

Beckett laughed a little and shook her head. "Nothing, it's just that, in this kind of situation I'm supposed to be the one comforting you not the other way around."

Castle smiled slightly at her. "Well, I think a bit of you has rubbed off on me, in the non-sexual way of course."

Beckett just rolled her eyes but smiled at him. "Thank you, by the way, for before."

Castle knew what she talking about so he shrugged and replied "Always"

Beckett smiled back as they both sat back on the couch and started to eat their now cold burgers and warm milkshakes.

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**Well, this chapter is a lot longer than I was intending but oh well, consider it a sorry for taking so long and for the bad work I did on the previous chapter.**

**I hope this ties you guys over until my next post, where finally stuff is going to go down!**

**Thanks for reading,**

**Melissa**


	6. Of Ghosts From The Past

**Okay so I expected to have an update for you guys like 4 weeks ago and I'm really sorry. A lot of unexpected things have popped up recently and it's been a lot to deal with.**

**So wow, I did not realise that there was a double episode about Alexis being kidnapped, whoops! The second episode had only just aired here on the 16th, so as you guys already know, over here in New Zealand we are really behind. Unfortunately for me, I cannot top those episodes, they were just too good, I mean Castle's father being a SPY O_o…I don't know about anyone else but I jokingly guessed that if Castle's father were to be introduced he was going to be a spy or some sort of tough Government agent.**

**Anyways, next chapter is here, so sorry again for the wait and, to be honest, I want to say that I will update sooner but the truth is that I really have no clue as to when I'll be able to update this story…But hopefully I won't leave it for over a month again…**

**DISCLAIMER: …NO!**

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_Beckett reached for her phone "I'll call Espo and…shit!" she cursed under her breath._

_"What is it?" Castle asked as he looked down at her phone between them and saw the time on her phone. 1:20am!? How long have they been talking for?_

_She looked back up at Castle again. "I'm sorry Castle; no one will be awake for us to do anything now. We'll have to wait until the morning."_

_Castle wanted to say who cares about sleeping, mainly because he knows he probably won't get any anyways, but she was right. Nothing would get done at this time of night; they're going to have to wait for a more reasonable time tomorrow._

_He nodded in confirmation and uttered a quiet "okay" he looked up into her eyes and saw a look of admiration there. Taken aback he quirked an eyebrow and asked. "What's that look for?"_

_Beckett laughed a little and shook her head. "Nothing, it's just that, in this kind of situation I'm supposed to be the one comforting you not the other way around."_

_Castle smiled slightly at her. "Well, I think a bit of you has rubbed off on me, in the non-sexual way of course."_

_Beckett just rolled her eyes but smiled at him. "Thank you, by the way, for before."_

_Castle knew what she talking about so he shrugged and replied "Always"_

_Beckett smiled back as they both sat back on the couch and started to eat their now cold burgers and warm milkshakes._

Castle shot awake gasping as cold sweat dribbled down his neck and back.

Where the hell is he!? His eyes search frantically around his surroundings for a particular red head.

"Alexis!" he calls out, hoping to hear her call back to him.

Hands suddenly clamp down on his cheeks. They're finally going to pay attention to him, he wanted their attention on him the entire time instead of on Alexis but they just made him watch. Now, he doesn't even know what they've done with her, or if she's still alive.

"Where's Alexis!?" He's trying to get the hands off of his face but they're holding fast.

"Rick stop!"

"No! Alexis!?"

"Castle stop it! Look at me!"

He finally looked at his kidnapper and those hazel eyes, full of concern, were staring back at him.

"Rick it's me" Beckett told him softly.

Confused, he stared at her as yesterday started to slowly come back to him. "It was just a bad dream Rick."

His breathing was quick and shallow as he tried to make sense of everything. "They were hurting her…They strapped me to a chair and m-made, they made me watch them hurt her…"

Castle could feel his heart banging on his rib cage as his whole body shook, suddenly his stomach did a horrible flip, causing Castle to dive for the nearest rubbish bin and empty last night's burger and shake in there.

He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep and he was right but he knew he had to try; he had to be alert and somewhat rested so he can put everything into finding his daughter.

He felt a hand rub small soft circles on his back as his head rested on his hand.

God that was a horrible dream…Those guys did things…NO! He can't let himself think like that, not right now, especially if he wants to keep something in his stomach.

He turned his head and saw her, looking as concerned as ever, watching him.

Her hand left his back and with the pad of her thumb she wiped away tears that he didn't even know was there. He wasn't even sure if they were from the force of his being sick or if they were from his nightmare. However, he knows he could get used to this.

Not Alexis being kidnapped or him being sick but her touch was something Castle longed to have and, despite everything that's happening at the moment, he really wants to kiss her.

He won't; not like this.

Not only would it kind of repulse her considering his own taste was disgusting himself but he is not emotionally nor mentally prepared for any kind of consequences that would most likely come with it.

Castle, though, was not all that confident of his self-control, especially when his eyes glanced towards her lips. He groaned and mustered up all of his willpower to stand up and walk to the bathroom; effectively removing himself from a potential fuck up.

He gripped the basin and stared down into the sink, not being able to rid himself of his nightmare. His captor's faces were distorted, not because they were wearing masks, but because their faces were literally distorted; as if they were moving too fast for a camera to focus.

They had strapped him to a chair and made him watch everything.

He tried to get free but he couldn't. She was right in front of him but he couldn't get to her.

He remembers watching them slowly pull a knife across her back and her scream. Castle shook his head and slammed the faucet up to full pressure, cupping the ice cold water and splashing it on his face.

It was becoming pretty obvious that he was not going to be forgetting this nightmare any time soon. Instead, after rinsing out his mouth, he dried his hands on the back of his neck and wiped the water off of his face and returned to Beckett.

When he came back he noticed the table in the corner of the living room where Castle slept, had papers and a couple of coffee mugs littering the top of it. Beckett appeared beside him with two coffee mugs and handed one to Castle.

He took it gratefully and took an appreciative sip. "How long have you been awake for?"

Beckett shrugged and made her way over to the table organising papers back into their folders. "I couldn't sleep."

Castle frowned. "You've been awake all night?"

Another shrug. "Yeah, something was bothering me and I just couldn't sleep."

If Castle didn't feel bad before he most definitely did now. How could he sleep and she couldn't, especially when it's his daughter's life on the line?

"Why didn't you wake me?" He asked, going over to help her organise the paperwork.

"Why would I? You need your sleep at the moment and besides I didn't know what I was looking for."

Castle finally saw her face and notice how tired her eyes looked. "Hey, you need sleep too."

She looked up at him and smiled. "I'm fine Castle; I'm pretty good at functioning on little to no sleep."

That stupid 'f' word, the one where when is used is completely opposite of what it actually means.

"Kate- -"

"I called Esposito earlier and asked them to look into our witnesses for us, so we should probably see what their progress is like." She said cutting him off before going to her bedroom and closing her door.

Castle sighed; he doesn't need this right now. He's worried about her as well as his daughter. A man can only take so much stress.

He put his coffee down on the table and lightly rapped on her door. "Hey Beckett, you don't be any chance have a spare toothbrush do you?"

"Under the basin in the bathroom, the green one." She called back.

He was about to go in there and rid his mouth of, well, everything when a knock on the door stopped him. He went to answer the door and who he saw deflated him a little.

"Hey Josh" Castle greeted the doctor at the door.

The look of shock crossed his faced and Castle could guess why, it does look a little suspicious.

Castle was about to reassure him that nothing happened and they're just working a case but Josh interrupted him. "I always knew you two would end up together."

"Whoa, no that's not what's happening here. We're working a case, I crashed the night on the couch, see?" Castle opened the door wider so he could see the makeshift bed Castle slept in last night.

"It's okay Castle, I just came here to pick up my jacket that is right over there so if you'll excuse me." Josh slid past him and grabbed his jacket that was just barely visible on a chair at the table where Beckett was working last night. He started to make his way back towards Castle and back out the door.

Confused Castle called out to him. "Josh, wait! Don't you want to wait for Beckett? We're just about to head to the precinct."

Josh smiled sadly at Castle and shook his head. "Better if I didn't."

And with that Josh turned the corner of the hallway and disappeared. Castle was so confused. What the hell just happened?

Was Josh that pissed off that Castle was here even if nothing was going on? Castle went back inside the apartment and shut the door just as Beckett opened hers.

"Hey, who was at the door? I heard voices." She asked while tying her hair up in a ponytail.

Castle doesn't know whether or not he should tell her but something tells him that Josh's coming here was not to see Beckett at all. In fact, something tells him that he was rather glad that Castle opened the door. "Oh, someone got the wrong floor."

Castle shrugged and walked to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

"Where are we on those witnesses guys?" Beckett called out as they entered the bullpen. They dropped their coats at their respective seats and leant against her desk, looking at the uncharacteristically bare murder board.

"No luck finding a Tom or Alison Barlett on any database." Esposito informed them as he came over with Ryan not far behind.

"So we're back to square one?" Castle could even hear the desperation in his own voice.

"Not exactly" Ryan said as he help up a folder. "I found something weird."

"Weird?"

"Yeah, I dug further back into our vic's past and to cut a long story short, Jared has an adopted sister." Ryan opened the folder and started to look for something.

"A sister?" Beckett repeated.

"But I thought he had no living relatives?" Castle asked feeling as confused as Beckett looked.

"That's where it gets weird." Ryan said, pulling out a piece of paper from the folder and reading it. "It's a typical sad story of an orphaned girl; father's dead, estranged mother, entered in the system at 10 and bounced around different homes until she settled in at the Kurt's residence. But she disappeared when she was 13, she's assumed dead but her body was never found."

Castle frowned and glanced at Beckett to see if she was catching on to what Ryan was saying but she looked a little off.

"I don't get it" Esposito said drawing Castles attention back. "What's the weird part?"

Ryan smirked a little. "Meet Sarah Kurt aka Alison Barlett." He said as he put a photo up of a young blond woman.

"As in the witness we talked to yesterday?"

Ryan nodded. "One of the same."

Castle was staring at the photo thinking that something doesn't sit right. "Don't you guys think she looks a little young to be married?" He asked them but Esposito just shrugged.

"People marry young bro."

Castle wasn't happy with that but didn't have anything better. "What about the husband? Do you have a picture of him?"

Ryan shook his head. "No, just as Alison Barlett is an alias so is Tom Barlett, so there's nothing in the system."

Castle studied her picture again and remembered something. "Hey Beckett, didn't Lanie…" He started but trailed off as he looked at her.

Her eyes were wide as saucers, her lips were parted and her skin had paled with a slight tint of green; like she was going to be sick.

"Beckett, you okay?" She didn't respond, almost like she didn't hear him.

"Kate?" He reached out to touch her arm and soon as he grazed her skin her head snapped to him.

"Kate? What's - -"

"Sarah" she interrupted him

He frowned confused. "Sarah?"

Beckett nodded and quickly got up to sit at her computer.

Castle watched her typing furiously. He glanced over at Esposito and Ryan, but they looked as confused as him.

After what felt like forever, Beckett stopped typing and spun her monitor to face them. Brilliant green eyes were staring back at him, with a wild blond main framing a young girl's face.

Beckett stood up and grabbed the photo off the murder board and put it next to the girl on the computer.

"Not Sarah Kurt. Sarah Wiles."

Castle's eyes widened, the same emerald eyes, same blonde hair though not as wild and the same face, just aged a few years.

"You mean…?" Castle let the question hang in the air as Beckett nodded.

"Wiles? Why does that name sound familiar?" Ryan asked.

"They were those smuggling brothers weren't they?" Esposito asked them.

Beckett looked over at them. "Yeah, look Robert Wiles, Sarah's Uncle is out of prison. I don't know how his lawyers did it but they did, and either he's made contact with Sarah or they've always had contact. We need to find them and fast because I have reason to believe that they have Alexis."

"What? How do you know that?" Esposito asked.

Beckett looked over at Castle, almost asking permission to share information so Castle spoke up. "I received a tape and a phone call from him yesterday."

"And you didn't think to tell us? We could've traced the call." Esposito said, sounding kind of hurt.

"The tech guys were on their way to my loft, I thought they could try." Castle replied, honestly not thinking about calling the boys to let them know.

"Look, we're sorry we didn't tell you. Honestly, we were a little thrown by who it was but the main thing is we are finally getting somewhere." Beckett returned to her computer. "Here's a picture of Robert Wiles, put out an APB and be on the lookout."

Ryan and Esposito looked at the guy on Beckett's monitor. "Wait, that's Robert Wiles?"

Beckett nodded but looked up at the boys faces. "Why?"

They shared a look with each other and both looked back at Beckett and Castle with a guilty look in their eyes. "Because that's Tom Barlett."

Castle was shocked; he didn't know what to think. He was there the entire time and none of them could make him, not even Beckett.

He looked over at Beckett and saw anger in her eyes. "This is Tom Barlett? The one you guys interviewed just a few meters away from me?"

Ryan and Esposito nodded sheepishly. "We have his details, it may be fake but we could have a look at the address he gave us? You know just in case" Ryan suggested.

Castle watched Becketts jaw clench and unclench; she was pissed. Even more so than when he went behind her back and looked into her mother's case even after she specifically said not to. "It's worth a shot." She said quietly.

They nodded and shot Castle a meaningful look before going back to their desk to grab their coats and keys and before Castle knew it they were gone.

He looked over at Beckett and saw her absolutely seething. Out of all of them there, she was the only one could've accurately identified Wiles but she didn't. No one could blame her though, when they arrived Esposito and Ryan were talking to Robert and Sarah about 80 meters away. Plus, they were just the people who found the body, people whom you don't really pay much attention to unless they were covered in blood or they were suspicious. No one could blame themselves for overlooking that.

But, of course, Beckett is.

"Kate…" Castle started quietly.

"I'm fine Castle." She said abruptly as she made her way to the break room. He sighed and followed her.

Once inside he started to try and reassure her "Kate, it's not your fault."

"He was right there Castle." She said turning to look at him. Anger was burning in her eyes and Castle knew it was anger aimed at herself. "Right under my nose, and I didn't even realise who he was. If I did- -"

Castle had enough of this self-loathing, it had to stop. "Kate you have to stop this, alright? No one could've recognised anyone at that distance especially considering you weren't even looking for him in the first place, let alone had any knowledge of him being out of prison. So stop acting like everything is your fault because it's not!"

"How can you say that after all I've told you?" She asked, her voice rising in volume slightly.

"Because you're not the one who's kidnapped my daughter! You're not the one who killed Jared! You're the one who is putting everything she has into this case for me." Castle could see that he wasn't getting through to her this time, so he opted for absolute truth.

"Kate, I'm breaking." He said quietly. Castle wasn't trying to hold any emotion back; he had to get through to her. His throat started to clog up as he felt the beginning of tears sting the back of his eyes. "My daughter is the only person in this world who I need more than she needs me. If anything happens to her, I don't know if I can go on." Castle felt a tear fall on his cheek and for once he didn't move to wipe it away, he wanted her to see everything.

"I need my daughter to be safe and I need her to be back in my arms. Do you understand?" He asked as his voice shook with all of the emotion.

Castle watched Beckett watch him. He was glad to see that the anger's gone but he just wishes she'd do something instead of just watching him.

He heard her sigh and watched as she walked over to stand in front of him. Her hand came up and, for the second time that morning, she wiped the tears off his cheeks. Her hazel eyes looked up to his "I'm sorry. So, so sorry Rick. I just can't help but think that this would never have happened if I just minded my own business."

"That's a job requirement for a police officer isn't it?"

Castle's joke had the desired effect as Beckett smiled slightly. "True." She sighed and kept her eyes on him. He's not really sure if she's noticed the close proximity that they're currently in or how her thumb is just caressing his cheek but he certainly does and it's doing nothing to calm his nerves.

"Rick- -" The shrill of Beckett's phone made them both jump, startled by the noise.

Beckett took a step back and put a hand over her hair before grabbing her phone. "Beckett."

Castle turned away and scrubbed his face, thinking that if one woman isn't enough to worry about then two is just getting close to effecting his health long term.

"Okay, be right there." Castle turned to look at Beckett as she put her phone away. "That was Ryan, he says they found something and we should come right away."

Beckett turned towards the bullpen and made a beeline for her desk. "Did they say what for?" Castle asked, hot on her heels.

Beckett just shook her head as she shrugged her coat on. "Just said there's something we need to see."

It sounded kind of promising to Castle and yet a little bit worrying. He can't really ask Beckett anything; she knows as much as him, but as they got on the elevator to get to her car, he can't help but to picture the worst.

**0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~**

**Here it is, again, super duper sorry for posting this so late. As I said up top, shit's been going down in my life hence the delay.**

**Happy reading,**

**Melissa**


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